Gold & Silver Forum - QWAK,"The new KITTY" :)

QWAK,Ponce is gona love this one!! :hahaha: :ARMS1:

We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can
top this one. . . .

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how
legitimate my excuse,
I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because
the truth was just
too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head
injury, and I hoped
I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could
think up a doozy to
explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly
because I had given
in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.

Initially, the new acquisition was no problem. Then one morning, I was
taking my shower after
breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

"Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower
pitter-patter and steam.
"Reset it yourself!"

"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me
in?" There was a meaningful
pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second."

Out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged
nudity would make a statement
about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing
loudly, I squatted down and stuck
my head under the sink to find the button.

It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning,
and without any respect to
my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its
gnashing metal teeth. It
was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she
spied dangling between my legs.

She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under
the sink. And, at the precise
moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly
offered and snagged them with her
needle-like claws.

I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements,
blindly rising at a violent rate of
speed, with the full weight of kitten hanging from my masculine region.
Wild animals are sometimes
faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament,
choose only the "flight" option.

I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air
when the sink and cabinet bluntly
and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are
not many things in this life
worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in
front of a group of "been-there,
done-that" paramedics.

Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were
all snorting loudly as they
tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their
hysterical laughter......and
not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back
into the office, where
colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury.
I kept silent, claiming it was
too painful to talk about, which it was.

What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"

If they only knew!
----------------------------------
Ponce,next time you go to FIX somthing -------- PUT some CLOTHS ON or you too could wake up with somthing to explain that is very EMBARISING! :albertein :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :banana: :banana:

the DUCK